But What Would I Do Without You?
by Amybell
Summary: She wondered what they buried him in. Of course, no one knew. She was sure it was a closed casket. They had told her the damage was too severe. One-shot. Partial song-fic. ExB


**For Mary. **

**I do not own Twilight or Evanescence. **

--

She stopped.

The dirt was still fresh, the headstone not yet placed. Only small plastic green markers to identify him. Six feet under.

Was it truly the end? To her, it felt like it had only begun.

She was going to bring flowers, but then thought of how inappropriate it was. Why did people bring gifts to _graves_?

She didn't want to taint his earth, his soil.

She was grateful, though. Grateful that he was out of that cold, little room. He was surrounded by people he loved, now. She glanced at the other indicators, marking the two other graves.

That's when she collapsed.

"I should have been with you!" She screamed into his soil. "I should be lying next to you! Forever! I don't want to be here anymore!"

_Stay low. Soft, dark, and dreamless._

_Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness. _

Rain began to fall to the earth, dampening the soil with each drop.

She wondered what color his casket was. Everyone else knew. They had attended the service.

She wondered what they buried him in. Was he in his favorite shirt? His tux? The sweater she bought him for his last birthday? Of course, no one knew. She was sure it was a closed casket.

They had told her the damage was too severe.

_I hate me for breathing without you._

_I don't want to feel anymore for you. _

A small part of her hated Alice. Hated Alice for stopping her. Stopping her from getting into that car. She wanted to be dead, too. Dead like the others.

_Grieving for you._

_I'm not grieving for you._

_Nothing real love can't undo. _

She picked up a handful of dirt, and brought it to her lips.

"Soon," she whispered against the soil.

The plans had already began. There was never any doubt in her mind. From when she first heard, she knew what she had to do. It had been their pact. He made her promise that one fateful day…

--

"Bella!" He shouted. "Can you hear me?"

She waved weakly, although she could feel her injuries from the fall.

"Oh, God," he sobbed, "I thought I lost you!"

"Never," she whispered.

"I called the ambulance, they'll be here any second, honey. We're going to air lift you. I t-think your neck is broken." His tears flew freely now.

"I'll…be…good…soon…'kay?" she said slowly.

A sudden look of determination lightened his gaze.

"Bella, I couldn't live without you…and…oh, God this is _horrible_, but…I don't want either of us to live without the other…do you understand? Can you promise me that?"

She smiled just a little. "You jump…I…jump, too?"

He laughed with relief through his tears.

"Exactly."

--

Still clutching the soil, she began to go slightly insane.

"Oh, Ed. I know 'ya miss me, but it won't be long now. I'm just sad for Renee' and Charlie, you know? But, hey, they have each other, right? Not like us. We need each other. Alice will be sad a little, I guess. But she has Jasper. Em and Rose are already together, wherever you guys are. Tell 'em I said 'hey.' I'll be seeing you all real, real soon, okay? I love you, I love you so, so much. Don't worry. I'll be there. I promise. 'You jump, I jump,' remember? I remember. It won't be too much longer. No…not at all…"

_And though I may have lost my way, all paths lead straight to you._

_I long to be like you. Lie cold in the ground like you. _

All of a sudden, hatred swelled up inside her. Hatred for everyone.

She hated Alice and Jasper _so much_, because they were _alive _together.

She hated Emmett and Rosalie _so much_, because they were _dead _together.

And she hated Edward _so, so much_, because he died _without _her.

_Humming, haunted, somewhere out there._

_I believe our love can see us through in death._

She wanted to be in that car.

She wanted to be with them when they skidded off the bridge.

She wanted to be with them when they drowned in the river.

She wanted to be the last face he saw.

She wanted the last thing she saw to be his face.

She wanted to lie next to him under the grave.

She wanted to die.

_There's room inside for two._

_I'm not grieving for you._

_I'm coming for you._

She purposefully reached into her purse, and grabbed the large white bottle.

Handful by handful, she swallowed the capsules until she was dizzy.

She laid herself down carefully, right on top if his soil, lying next to him as she died.

Meanwhile, six feet below, the corpse twitched its head in the final stages of rigor mortis. Objectively, he appeared to be turning to face the woman just a few short feet above…

Bella began to choke up blood.

She hadn't had her airways cleared for three seconds before her drug-induced heart came to a shuddering halt.

And she died.

--

They had found her the next morning, as they were bringing the headstones to the new graves.

Alice couldn't even feel anymore.

She and Jasper wandered into the graveyard, unsurprised to see green indicators next to Edward's freshly laid headstone. Bella.

Alice slowly read each inscription, hating how simple they were.

_Rosalie Hale_

_1985 -- 2008_

_Emmett McCarty_

_1982 -- 2008_

_Edward Masen_

_1986 -- 2008_

Nothing about Rosalie's protectiveness and compassion. Nothing about Emmett's lovability and kindness. Nothing about Edward's quiet clarity and honor.

Nothing to remember except when they stopped…being.

And Alice couldn't handle that. She pulled Jasper along and they left the cemetery.

They would never return.

But, as she was leaving, Alice could have sworn she hear a fated reunion stirring the air.

"You came," the grass seemed to whisper.

"I missed you," the wind replied.

"I love you," the earth returned.

"Forever," the trees said with finality.

And Alice knew her friends were finally at peace.

--

**Well…**

**I kind of liked it.**

**Any thoughts?**


End file.
